Who I Really Am
Hi, blogger. I got a lot of exams right now. School Exams Week, Aikido, AS Level, and upcoming School Semester Test. My brother just graduated from ITB last Saturday with suma cum laude predicate. And now he’s off to Surabaya for work. Thinking of that, I am going to college in less a year. And I still confused for what I am gonna be.
I think, the old us are who we really are. When we were child, as I already told you before, chose our dream without thinking twice. We chose our dream because we like it. Purely. Not because it’ll guarantee us a good job, high social status or big salary. And that’s why, every time I ask myself who I really am, I’ll remember who the old me was.
Since I was in Pittsburgh, I liked science. Maybe it was influenced by my brother. I got a lot of books of science. Three sets of series of encyclopedia, four books of science experiement and one medical book. Nobody in my family is a doctor. But when I was in elementary, I wanted to be a doctor so badly that I read that thick book. It’s really thick and heavy. And then, I changed my dream from a doctor to be an astronomer. Not like my classmate who wants to be an astronaut, I prefer to be an astronomer who study about stars, planet and galaxies only.
Because of my dream to be an astronomer, I read lots of books and encyclopedia about astronomy. Even though I read the same all over and over again (about the sun, the planets, the galaxies), I didn’t get tired of it. I wanted to have my own telescope, but until now, I never get one. I’d thought once to built it, but I didn’t know how to do and no one in my family interested in astronomy like me. Until now, I still like reading about astronomy and medical. The medical book I have in my room right now, explained a lot of how to help people from suffering disease with common symptoms. And in my spare time, I like reading it over and over again.
Then, I changed my dream to be a scientist. That time, I didn’t really understand what scientists do. In my mind, I always think about people wearing lab coat in the laboratory (in the basement) with all chemical tube in front of them and discovery something incredible. My science grade were good. I can say that since I was a very little, first knowledge I know was about science. Really. And when I was in Pittsburgh, I always amazed with all those experiment. Science experiment. My life is so close with science.
In middle school, I started learning science in more advanced and I was disappointed of how Indonesian Education is all about theories. I just can’t get it if only reading it through book that the book itself was not interesting at all. No full color and somehow contains text text and text. And formulas. It’s not interesting at all. The classes are not appealing. And suddenly, Physics became a subject that I don’t like the most. I cannot help it. How can I understand it if I can’t see all those stuffs they explained in that textbook? It continues until now. In middle school, since first year, I am into science class. I don’t even study about social studies at all except history. And it’s not world history by the way.
Now, I am very confused. I think I am going to take social studies such as literature or design. Something that would never involved science anymore. When I saw the social studies past paper, I felt something strange. I felt sad that I won’t learn science anymore (well, I’ll be very glad to not learning Physics =p). Science’s been my thing for a long time. Deep down down inside my heart, I still want to study about medical or astronomy or chemistry. But, I cannot think what’s the best for myself.
Astronomy, medical, science -> they all are my things. They all are like my old friends from the old me. And it’s so sad to say goodbye to them. If only I can have more than one job. But I know at the end, I have to choose one. But, if I am going to take science major in college, I probably want to go overseas. Here, the apparatus doesn’t good as in another country.What do you think, readers? In your opinion, what should I take?
And about that telescope, I really want to get one before I go to college. Last December, I tried to make my father bought me a telescope in Singapore, but I failed.
Okay then, I have to have dinner right now. My mom just start yelling at me to stop blogging. Thanks for reading anyway.
Bye bye and see ya’!
